Anger issues in children are sometimes hard to pin point because children go through childhood phases, while they are getting to grips with their emotions. When learning to express their emotions they may get angry and express those feelings through yelling, crying, fighting or they may withdraw and pout.
All this is normal child behaviour as every child has a temper tantrum when they are not sure of what they are feeling and they haven’t learnt any way to deal with their emotions. They will learn in time through trail and error how to deal with their emotions.
When anger becomes a problem is when it starts to affect them, causes harm to themselves or others. When they can’t control it and it leads to other physical and mental problems.
The reason children are angry are quite varied. Most children model their behaviour after their parents or any other adult that plays a big part in their upbringing. If there is constant shouting and fighting in the home the child will probably have anger issues.
If the adults around the child react to things with anger then the child will learn that is the way you deal with things. This sort of behaviour becomes a never-ending cycle which feeds off its self and is very hard to break.
When children are small they are the centre of the world, as they think. This is typical behaviour which they grow out off when they develop and mature into an older child. They will begin to respect other children feeling and acknowledge that other children are just as important.
It is when they don’t understand this simple concept and they get angry for the wrong reason which is normally no reason at all. They’ll get angry because of their perception of the situation like another child gets more love, or more toys, more kisses and cuddles.
This may lead to a big tantrum that the child may not even know why themselves. This sort of “extreme selfishness” is a horrible feeling for a child because not only does it create anger issues it also cuts them off from feeling like they belong to a community.
When children are young and they see another child playing with a toy, it immediately send a signal that says they want that toy. This is normal child behaviour. When that grow up a little they will find comfort in with other toys.
However when a child is fixated on what he doesn’t have they will develop a problem with controlling and dealing with anger. If a child has every single desire filled that will come to expect that they can get what they want when they want it on a single command. However they will come a point when the child can’t get what they want or someone else’s has got something and they can’t get it.
If they don’t understand that they can get everything in life they will get very angry and will most likely have angry bursts in unhealthy ways.
Not getting enough attention can cause hurt and pain for children. Instead of doing thing right and getting the credit and attention they want they may act out in anger to get some attention as bad attention is still attention.
The best way to avoid children acting out and doing bad things to get attention is to give attention for good behaviour. Ensure that they feel loved and they have all the affection they need to they don’t take it out on the people around them.
Loneliness has children feeling isolated and it will have them feeling like there is no one around to talk to with this feeling it lets the anger grow and fester.
4.Testing Authority/ Defiance
Throughout childhood children will test their boundaries. It is normal child behaviour it’s what they do and that why as parent we are there to keep them in line. However some children will have a problem with authority early on and a defiant child will most like show signs of anger that is out of control.
When children are defiant and it creates these anger issues with authority then the authority figures need to show the child that following the rules isn’t a bad thing. The authority figure whether they are parents, teachers the police or anyone that the child comes into contact with will need to show that the rules are there to protect them and that people in authority are trustworthy and helpful.
So before you start to treat a child for anger issues you need to know why that are anger and causes them to get like that. Is it because they see it at home a lot? Or are they trying to express another emotion but haven’t quite learnt how to do it yet? What ever the reason you need to be calm and supportive of the child get mad or anger at them will just make the situation worst as it’s like added fuel to the fire.